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Hunting Main Board => Big A.P.E. Squad (Anti Peta Enforcement) => Topic started by: bohicajuan on December 15, 2011, 04:54:54 PM

Title: Christmas Greetings to the Anti Hunting Crowd!!
Post by: bohicajuan on December 15, 2011, 04:54:54 PM
I thought I would take it upon myself to offer seasons greetings and Holiday cheer to all the anti hunters and specifically to the anti hunting women.

If you are an anti hunting woman, over the age of 18 and under the age of 40, and you're feeling a little blue this time of year, I would like to offer my services as a friend. Someone you can talk too. Someone you can more than talk too.

Now there are a few rules. You must have shaved legs and armpits. You must bathe at least twice a day. You must be free of any social disease as well. Your psychiatrist must certify that you are not a danger to yourself and others. Your body mass must not exceed 40% of non muscle tissue.

Tattoos cannot cover more than 50% of your body and if you drive a Volvo it must not be older than 20 years. All the bumper stickers must not obscure driver vision. Pink, blue, red and orange hair is only allowed if the carpet and the drapes are matching. No shaved heads and no music by Sinead O'Connor.

If you have studs or jewelry in the more sensitive regions of your body, you might want to consider taking them out, because in past times, they have not been able to stand up to the friction and power that comes from a night with bohicajuan.

You say you are a lifelong vegan. Well, after one Christmas Carol with me, that will change. In fact you'll want to put more yule logs on the fire.

And speaking of logs and fire, it would be wise to have a fire extinguisher nearby.

Now I realize this is an offer that most of you ladies have been waiting your life for. So don't put off any longer. It doesn't matter if you've been naughty or nice, this Santa Clause ALWAYS delivers the goodies.

You can rest assured that your New Years resolution will be, more meat and lots of hard and long barrels that pack plenty of punch and is always loaded and ready to fire.

Merry Christmas!
Title: Re: Christmas Greetings to the Anti Hunting Crowd!!
Post by: John Andrews on December 16, 2011, 08:52:45 AM
I bet  your 'puter is jamed up with replies,bo!