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Author Topic: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert  (Read 885 times)

Offline Big58cal

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Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« on: October 26, 2011, 04:51:06 PM »
Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert

Invasive Species Alert: ZOMBIES!
 
Welcome to this special Fresh Afield blog post.
 
Be warned of our state’s newest invasive species threat--ZOMBIES!
 
While zombie management is largely left to the police, military and health agencies, conservation plays a role in protecting Missouri's fish, forest and wildlife resources--and Missourians--from this invasive species.
 
Hunters, campers and others in the outdoors and on conservation areas should know there is always the chance they may encounter a zombie while out in the field. Good preparation helps you know what to do if you encounter this newest invasive species in Missouri.
 
The zombie invasion is like the feral hog problem in parts of Missouri, and its management is similar. We do not encourage organized zombie hunts since that may encourage the intentional release of zombie swarms. It can also disrupt wildlife and hunting opportunities for the more than 500,000 living Missourians who enjoy hunting.
 
Zombie Identification
Some indications that you have a zombie in view:
 
It has a gray-green dull skin tone.
It is wearing inappropriate clothing for the season or terrain (no coat or shoes, for instance).
It has open wounds, other injuries and/or missing or damaged limbs but no sign of bleeding.
It does not respond to verbal stimulus or exhibit any interest in its immediate surroundings.
It is trying to eat you.
 
Zombie Hunger and Habitat
 
Zombies require meat and brains. While human is the preferred source, fish and wildlife are another ready source of nourishment.  While zombies are primarily found in populated areas, there are zombies in undeveloped rural areas, far from cities and towns.  Evidence suggests that these zombies are transient, and moving to populated areas in search of their primary food source: brains. They are known to travel in packs or swarms, especially near food sources, but it is not uncommon to find solitary zombies in the field.
 
Cold weather slows down zombies. When the weather is below freezing, zombies may "hibernate" under leaf litter or underwater until warmer
spring weather.
 
Hunter/Outdoor Safety
 
Whether you are out in a tree stand, in a wetland or in a field, a few precautions combined with everyday hunter safety can ensure that you
make it back alive.
 
 
Zombie look-alike attractant
 
Always let someone know where you are hunting (or fishing, hiking, walking, camping) and when you expect to return. Leave a map or GPS coordinates with your family and in your vehicle.  Avoid cauliflower fields. Since cauliflowers appear brain-like, they often lure zombies.  Meat processors and other areas of concentrated meat and brains also attract zombies. Tip: MDC offers programs and events, including how to process your own deer.  If you encounter a large pack of zombies, escape rather than trying to fight them alone. While you may be able to run faster, remember that zombies are relentless at pursuit. Get to a vehicle and a safe zone.  If in the suburban outdoors, remember that shopping malls and big-box stores may serve as fortresses against the walking dead, but also attract zombies in large numbers.
 
Tree Stand Safety
 
You can stay cool when you are safely harnessed in your tree stand.  A tree stand is a readily defensible position, but keep in mind that free-standing tree stands can be toppled by a small pack of zombies.  Follow manufacturers' instructions when setting up your stand. There are unconfirmed reports that some zombies may be capable of climbing tree stands.
 
Always practice proper tree-stand safety and wear a safety harness.  Falling from a tree stand can injure you or make you dead. Falling from
a tree stand into the gaping maw of a zombie can make you undead.
 
Waterfowl Hunting and Hunting with Dogs Zombies do not require air and can stay submerged underwater for extended periods of time. While MDC managed waterfowl areas are believed to be zombie-free, use caution when wading through murky water and always check your blinds before entering. Consider wearing a shark suit or other body armor over your waders to prevent zombie bites from breaking through both your waders and your skin. If you use a boat to retrieve your game, put a spike or hammerhead on one end of your pole to use as a handy defense tool if you encounter the undead.
 
Dogs are usually very sensitive to zombies and will alert you to their presence. They cannot, however, sense submerged zombies. Scout out your wetlands before hunting and do not let your dog retrieve game if there are signs of zombies. Don't let man's best friend turn into man's worst friend.
 
Remember that deer and turkey cannot be taken with the use of dogs.
 
Field Tips for Foresters and Others in the Woods
 
Bring proper personal protective gear.  Chainsaws, axes and machetes are excellent weapons in quickly "dispatching" zombies. Remember that a severed zombie head can still bite.
 
Controlled fire has shown to be a slower-but-still-effective weapon in "dispatching" the walking dead. Complete incineration or explosion of the zombie is necessary to prevent further animation.
 
Always wear proper personal protective equipment (PPE) during close encounters with the undead to prevent direct contact with blood and brains since these are known to transmit the associated virus.
 
Note to Anglers
 
If you snag a zombie, CUT THE LINE!
 
Trout anglers, now is a good time to replace your porous-soled waders and boots with something non-porous and zombie-resistant. This has the added benefit of reducing the spread of rock snot (didymo).
 
During the fall gigging season, a gig is an effective tool against zombies.
 
 
The only purpose of bread is to hold meat!

John Andrews Is My Hero!

In all seriousness, the Marlin is a great rifle, too. I own a Model 60, one of the best rifles ever made.
Brownings are nice, but in terms of quality AND accuarcy AND ruggedness, it's hard to beat the Marlin.
California sucks that's it.

Offline Ks_Sniper

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Re: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2011, 06:23:37 PM »
For your protection, Hornady has come out with a real life line of anti-zombie ammo.

Introducing Zombie Max™ from Hornady®
When I was a child, I lived as a child. When I became a man, I put away my childish things and became a Gutpiler!

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Offline Big58cal

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Re: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2011, 10:13:26 PM »
I watched "Zombies: A Living History" last night on the History Channel.  It was pretty good.  O0   All kinds of good tips on how to deal with them.
The only purpose of bread is to hold meat!

John Andrews Is My Hero!

In all seriousness, the Marlin is a great rifle, too. I own a Model 60, one of the best rifles ever made.
Brownings are nice, but in terms of quality AND accuarcy AND ruggedness, it's hard to beat the Marlin.
California sucks that's it.

Offline John Andrews

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Re: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2011, 10:01:54 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D I better get some Zombie Hornady ammo! My regular Hornady ammo should suffice until I get some Hornady Zombie ammo.  :twisted:

I wonder if there are zombie squirrels. I bet there is!
Hunting Discussion Forum and Chat on Whitetail Deer Hunting- Bow Hunting- Muzzleloader Hunting- Fishing- Firearms- Outdoor News- Cleaning Game- Deer Pictures- Fish Pictures and more at www.gutpilestyle.com !

Offline Ks_Sniper

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Re: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2011, 02:55:24 PM »
I wonder if there are zombie squirrels. I bet there is!

Who do you think developed the bio-weapon that first created zombies! :knuppel2 :evil:
When I was a child, I lived as a child. When I became a man, I put away my childish things and became a Gutpiler!

Hunting Discussion Forum and Chat on Whitetail Deer Hunting - Anti Peta - Squirrel Hunting - Bow Hunting - Bear Hunting - Coon Hunting - Fishing - Firearms - Outdoor News - Cleaning Game -  17 hmr info and more at www.gutpilestyle.com ! http://www.camouflagenation.com http://www.thehuntingfiles.com  http://wildchildhuntingwear.com  http://www.isquirrelhunt.com http://www.iwhitetailhunt.com http://www.icoonhunt.com

Offline Big58cal

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Re: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2011, 03:33:33 PM »
They're responsible for the disappearance of "GNick, the Gnad Man".  :knuppel2
The only purpose of bread is to hold meat!

John Andrews Is My Hero!

In all seriousness, the Marlin is a great rifle, too. I own a Model 60, one of the best rifles ever made.
Brownings are nice, but in terms of quality AND accuarcy AND ruggedness, it's hard to beat the Marlin.
California sucks that's it.

Online MOSPARKY

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Re: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2011, 12:42:26 AM »
HOLY COW !!
 I thought BC was just trying to have a little fun at my expense, but a few things led me to beleive he didn't write this. I checked the conservation website and there it is !! The Zombies are coming.
 This has me especially concerned, as most days I swear I'm the only one within eyesight that has a brain, and I work with raw meat. I might have o go to ground til this blows over.
John Andrews is my hero !

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because huntin' ain't catch and release

Offline Big58cal

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Re: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2011, 12:50:06 AM »
HOLY COW !!
 I thought BC was just trying to have a little fun at my expense, but a few things led me to beleive he didn't write this. I checked the conservation website and there it is !! The Zombies are coming.

See!  Why don't people believe me on stuff?  :?   I don't write the news, I just report it folks.  O0
The only purpose of bread is to hold meat!

John Andrews Is My Hero!

In all seriousness, the Marlin is a great rifle, too. I own a Model 60, one of the best rifles ever made.
Brownings are nice, but in terms of quality AND accuarcy AND ruggedness, it's hard to beat the Marlin.
California sucks that's it.

Offline John Andrews

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Re: Missouri Department of Fish and Wildlife Alert
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2011, 09:29:28 AM »
 :wink: O0 Yeah on that, BC! And MO, you are in real danger! They will track the smell of the meat right to ya!  :shock: Be sure you pack plenty of ammo because the shop will get mobbed by zombies!
Hunting Discussion Forum and Chat on Whitetail Deer Hunting- Bow Hunting- Muzzleloader Hunting- Fishing- Firearms- Outdoor News- Cleaning Game- Deer Pictures- Fish Pictures and more at www.gutpilestyle.com !

 


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