Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting because hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Before the Bogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died three years ago but the Grim Reaper hasn't got the guts to tell him.
Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag women. He potato sacks them.
On the sixth day God created the heavens and the earth. Looked down and said....Hey! Isn't that Chuck Norris?
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else. Except when Chuck does it, he fights North Koreans.
Chuck Norris can only get an erection if an Asian family in the corner of the room is begging for their lives.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
A Priest a Rabbi and a Minister walk into a bar....Chuck Norris beats the crap out of them anyway because he doesn't like this joke.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can eat one Lay's potato chip.
