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Author Topic: Serious question  (Read 1941 times)

Zero

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Serious question
« on: February 08, 2006, 12:04:01 AM »
A few days ago I got a call from a fling from bout two years ago, was in tenn. for a reunion, was a stupid choice on my part, she called me up a few days ago to let me know I have a kid that is now two years old, I talked to my kid for a little bit. I am a bit lost as to what to do, I would love nothing more to send for my kid to come to stay here, but I live in a place that aint to good for a kid to grow up in, I talked to samantha for while discussing options, she and I were thinking about letting the kid stay there so she can go to school and go out and get an awesome job at one of these firms or whatever is out there. My main concern about her coming down here is she would be raised like I was raised, which by far aint a bad up brining. Ya know, down in the south, learning hunting and tracking, but we aint got no good schools here for her. If I was taught anything it was take what you can see that would be best for you. She is 2 and been there for awhile, I wouldnt feel right moving her here no matter how much she says she wants to come here and be with me cause mommy is mean to her. All kids say that.

Another thing I was thinking bout, she wouldnt have friends here, not that I dun see a problem in it, I am just trying to think of her future is all. Just looking for opinion on the matter, I am now sending money for her clothes and stuff.    I know its mine for a fact. I just wondered if I am right to let her stay there and wait till she is old enough to decide with a level head what she wants to do with her life. I just want her to have the best ya know?

Zero

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2006, 12:21:39 AM »
Forgot a piece if you have something helpful you can message me at bkcswarlord on aim zerolord352@hotmail.com on msn I am kinda at witts end on this.

Offline Lady_taxidermist

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2006, 12:35:02 AM »
Sorry to hear about your situation...

First thing...i would require testing to make sure  :wink:

But, i don't think anyone here is qualified to answer your question (i may be jumping the gun on that one). I was tossed from home to home as a kid...not pretty-but it taught me to be tough. Would i do it differently now if i could?..no, i wouldn't be the same person as i am today.

We all have our stories about out lives, and our childrens lives. To put it in a nutshell..all our stories ain't gonna help you any. This is something you will have to decide on your own.

No parent is given instructions with their kids, we all are just trying to raise them the best way we know how. Weigh the pros and cons, talk to the mom, keep in mind the huge (yet rewarding) responsibilities of raising this youngin, think and pray. Only you can decide.

Having said all of this, i have really said nothing you don't know already. Whatever you choose, do it in love and it will all work out.

Sorry i couldn't be more help.
LadyT

PS. if i was taught one thing it was "It dont matter where you are now...it is where you are going in life that matters"...no errors in raising can stop determination.
Politicians are like diapers. They should both be changed frequently and for the same reason.

Sometimes i aim to please, but mostly i just shoot to kill.

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Offline MOSPARKY

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2006, 12:49:19 AM »
 I never been in your shoes exactly. but you asked so here it is. You seem to be thinking along the right track. The time of taking the path that's best for you is a thing of the past. Now you're a Dad. The time has come that your world will revolve around whats best for the kid. It's happened to many of us here. What you may have to give up now, will payback big dividends later when she does something to make you really proud. If you ever have regrets about what has been given up, never let her know. never blame her. She didn't ask to be put in this situation, you more or less invited her.
 I've had to give up ALL of my outdoor activities for several years now, just trying to provide for them.  Now that I see them maturing into fine young ladies and making responsibe, informed desisions for themselves and have been presented with an adorable granddaughter, whose being brought up right, I'd have to say" It's all been worth it"
 You seem to know what to do,you just need a little reassurance. Fallow your heart, it knows the right thing to do. I won't kid you, it's a bumpy, uncomfortable road you're on but in the end, if you follow the course laid by your heart, it's all worth it.
John Andrews is my hero !

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Zero

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2006, 01:11:56 AM »
Yeah I dun hear you on that, I hunt for my food and smoke into jerky for the winter. I just want her to be happy, if she is happy down here, but I told her wait for a few years till you absolutely know this is what you want for sure and I will send for you. I want to give what it dun takes to get through this life but all I know is hunting and trapping. Dun know any of your fancy math or anything like that.

Offline john

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2006, 10:51:50 AM »
a child is usually best off with their mother. when they can't be with both. however its good to hear your interested in being part of her life. thats the next best thing to a two parent family. be active in communicating and sharing her life. make sure she always knows its only circumstance that keeps you apart, not lack of love on your part. support emotionaly as well as financialy and everything will work out.

Zero

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2006, 11:03:22 AM »
Thanks :)

Offline Morax

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2006, 11:20:33 AM »
a child is usually best off with their mother. when they can't be with both. however its good to hear your interested in being part of her life. thats the next best thing to a two parent family. be active in communicating and sharing her life. make sure she always knows its only circumstance that keeps you apart, not lack of love on your part. support emotionaly as well as financialy and everything will work out.
excuse me?  this is a very touchy subject here... i know you said usually but still NOT. now walking away from campfire before i get a little too upset on this subject.   :-\
when in doubt shoot twice

Zero

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #8 on: February 08, 2006, 12:23:00 PM »
*hugs morax* :)

Offline Morax

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Re: Serious question
« Reply #9 on: February 08, 2006, 01:12:18 PM »
ok back with firewood... ok now not all kids are best left to the "mother" i have raised my daughter from 6 months to 2 years old by myself, due to the "mother" deciding that drugs and sleeping around was more important than anything else.  the child was born with cocaine in her system and i had to fight to have her released to me due to the drug laws.after that the courts still gave her visitations that lead to her being abused physically and sexually from the ex wife and her boyfriend.  now that the visitations have stopped and now the child is 15 not going to high school is in the community college for school, and is on the high honor roll!! its not always best for the "mother" to even be in the picture. of course i did remarry and have been with this lady now for almost 14 yrs, but this was also a decision that was made with the kid in mind.  (this is my back story for kids)

              now zero, like Lady t said we cant tell you what to do, and we sure dont have answers for you, but i do give you credit for at least thinking of the kiddo and what you think is best for her now.. but now no comments from the "mom" for 2 years and 9 months until now? sounds a bit fishy to me accually i would do the test to be sure then go from there.  (yes i thought of having my girl tested but was no need to do it.)
when in doubt shoot twice

 


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