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Author Topic: A dogs Dear God Letter  (Read 1258 times)

Offline C.N.

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A dogs Dear God Letter
« on: July 20, 2008, 09:44:24 PM »


Dear God:

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

 

 



Dear God:

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the  colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?



Dear God:

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?



Dear God:

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,  horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?



Dear God:

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.



Dear God:

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?



Dear God:

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.



1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7.  Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

 

 

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt on the rug.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.



P. S.

Dear God:

When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles  back? 

 
"Stop telling God how big your storm is.
Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!"

Offline John Andrews

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Re: A dogs Dear God Letter
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2008, 11:05:09 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Those are good, CN! Sure is great to have you back. Where the heck ya been?
Hunting Discussion Forum and Chat on Whitetail Deer Hunting- Bow Hunting- Muzzleloader Hunting- Fishing- Firearms- Outdoor News- Cleaning Game- Deer Pictures- Fish Pictures and more at www.gutpilestyle.com !

Offline ray40cal

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Re: A dogs Dear God Letter
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2008, 06:37:35 PM »
 ;D
That one cracked me up.
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